Whose Boobs Are These???

Hello Fans.  As many of you may know, the Unborn has become The Born!  (pause for applause)  Paxson entered the world at 7:51am on Sunday, February 6, weighing in at 9 lbs, 3 oz.  The Birth Story will follow in a separate post.  I'm still processing that.  But it's a doozy so stay tuned.

Today's topic of discussion shall center around me and my body.  Again.

I just got out of the shower and got a good look at the post-pregnancy silhouette.  Definitely looking like a war zone.  And I couldn't be more proud!  During the pregnancy I was smug about not having stretch marks, turns out they were just joining forces to all invade at once and take over the entire abdomen.  It kinda looks like a map of secret tunnels under some old European city, or like the lines in an ant farm.  It's also still quite poofy and full, I look like I'm about six months pregnant.  And my hips definitely widened for the passage of P's gargantuan noggin, I can feel with my hands the difference in the space between my pelvis and what is currently passing for a waist.  But my boobs!  Oh, my boobs.  Christina Hendricks' got nuthin on these double Ds in all their glory.  And I'm willing to bet her boobs aren't shiny, hot and swollen with milk, with various lumpy pockets of blocked ducts and nipples that are cracked and bruised from the early trauma of breastfeeding.  I win.  Mine are better.

Breastfeeding was a shock.  Even though I knew it would probably be a rough start I had no idea how the experience of no sleep plus hormonal adjustments plus excruciating pain could combine to be so harrowing.  I cried incoherently and could barely form words.  Everything I knew to do and try, all the tips and techniques, fled my mind and I just sobbed and sobbed in pain and frustration, feeling like the world's worst mother.  Luckily Clayton pushed for us to reach out for help, and he took the reigns by calling every breastfeeding support person in Pittsburgh (which there are surprisingly, and thankfully, many!)  Today's second breakfast (or was it elevensies?) breastfeeding session was our best to date.  Breastfeeding is like a dance that P and I perform together and it took a little while to figure out each other's rhythm and style.   But with a little help from our local La Leche League on-call leaders, we managed to make some adjustments and are finding our stride.  It definitely still hurts at the beginning, but I'm confident that we're headed towards a long and happy nursing relationship.

My body is awesome.  I brought this little angel into the world, from just a tiny dot on the ultrasound screen to the 9 lb 3 oz behemoth that is now snoozing in front of me, with his little brow furrowed and his little lip sticking out (He's perpetually pissed off about something.  It's adorable.).  I will wear these stretch marks with pride!  I will celebrate my newly wide hips!  I will nurse my child any damn place I feel like it or need to because I Am The Holy Bringer of Life and these breasts are for feeding my child and have nothing to do with your sexual fantasies, thank you very much!